A meltdown is different to a tantrum. A tantrum is a behaviour the child is generally still in some control of and can stop if they receive the thing they are tantrumming about. A meltdown is caused when the brain is overloaded and can no longer cope with the demands on it. The child has gone into fight, flight or freeze mode. They are not in control of themselves and cannot process and respond to complex verbal instructions. Situations which can trigger meltdowns can include excessive sensory input that the child has trouble processing, such as too much noise, movement, people too close or touching them. Cognitive challenges can also trigger meltdowns.
A child who has trouble processing lots of instructions and has a set idea about what is going to happen in their day, can meltdown if there is an unexpected change and they cannot process an appropriate response quickly enough. This type of meltdown may occur, for example, if a child is told they must stop a favoured activity immediately and then is given a quick consequence for non-compliance. The brain is not able to process the fact that a change is needed and also the disappointment and challenge of having to stop a favoured activity to do a less favoured one. You could say it is like a computer which freezes when too many browser pages are opened at once.
When you consider both of these factors, it is easy to see why a child may meltdown frequently in a busy setting such as shopping centre, school or early childhood setting, where sensory and cognitive challenges are often combined into a perfect storm of overwhelm.
Obviously the most effective strategy is to avoid the meltdown in the first place. The best way to do this is to have enough knowledge of the child to be able to minimise triggers and support cognition and emotional regulation. Find out as much as you can about the child from the child’s TEAM – their parents, any previous educators and any allied health / early intervention supports which may be in place, and by communicating with the child. This knowledge is key to supporting the child’s engagement, regulation and interaction. Find out what signs the child gives when they are STARTING to become overwhelmed. These may include sounds, movements or behaviours. Head the meltdown off at this point by reassuring, distracting, removing the challenge and lowering the demands on the child. Now is NOT the time for a longwinded explanation of why they must calm down.
If the pot is reaching boiling point, turn down the gas.
If a meltdown is occurring it is key to remember that the child is not fully in control of themselves. Again, find out from the TEAM what they do when meltdowns occur in other settings.
- Does the child like a big hug to offer deep pressure / proprioceptive input to calm and organise their senses?
- Are they best if they can have time and space away from other people to calm themselves (a dark quiet retreat space they can be guided towards may offer this)?
- Do they calm best if they are allowed to go outside and swing, run, hit appropriate things?
- Can they calm with strong visual input such as an iPad, or are they more likely to throw it?
- Will calming music/ singing help?
- Is it likely to work for you to sit calmly and quietly near the child, using body language to show that you are available for a hug when they are ready?
The answer will be different for each child, as we ALL have different sensory and cognitive profiles. What works for one, may make another worse. It is important that the child is familiar with the calming strategies beforehand. Practise giving hugs for fun, introduce them to the calming space and place a favoured item in there together. Prepare a visual of the swing or other preferred activity so you can show it rather than use verbal language during the meltdown.
Keeping the child and all other children safe at this time is vitally important. If necessary move everyone else out of the way, if the child cannot be calmly and safety moved to a calming place.
Remember – the child is out of control. This behaviour is NOT INTENTIONAL.
Early Childhood Outreach training and coaching will help build educators’ confidence to support children when they are showing challenging behaviour.
